After basically running through Macau the school week started afresh. This week would bring Meet the teacher night along with our first typhoon. We started getting emergency messages on our phones at the beginning of the week. Messages warning us of the typhoon heading our direction. It had just hit the Philippians and would make landfall by the weekend. And make landfall it did. It rained constantly on Friday letting up for a while here and there but never enough to travel without an umbrella. The skies turned black quickly with fast moving clouds. Night fell faster than usual and the sky opened up with heavy rain. 

I killed a snail. And I love snails. There are giant snails here. The size of my hand if not bigger. And I stepped on one. It’s dead and I feel gross. The snails are plentiful. They come out after it rains and with the typhoon and rain the snails were out in mass.  It’s hard to see them. They come out at night and are as big as the fallen leaves so it’s hard to tell the difference between the leaves and a snail unless you’re paying close attention. And in my buzzed state I was paying less than attention. Now one is dead and I can still feel the crunch under my left foot. 

Friday night was full of rain, beer, new friends and good times. We ventured out into the pouring rain. Because of the typhoon it had been raining nonstop all day. We’ve been living with the outer rim of the storm dumping on us. So with our trusty umbrellas and sandled feet we went out and about to get tacos and beer. And boy did we find the tacos and beer. For being in China the tacos we found today at Down Low were excellent.  Then we went to a local bar, owned by Rhys’ new friend, called Me Cool. We drank local and foreign beers, cheers strangers and had an all around great time. People here are kind to us and do their best to communicate. The number of times translators have come out in order to speak to us is innumerable. People have a desire to communicate with us and actively find ways to make it happen. Sometimes it’s non verbal. The ok sign is almost universal here. Many people understand “ok, ok” as well as “no problem” and  “bye bye” are also commonly understood. Beyond that their English is as limited as our Chinese. But I’ve found that almost everyone understand “cheers” and a solid toast of a good time. Kind gestures of a toast, buying a round or sending food over have happened several times and the intention of kindness and welcome is always communicated clearly. 

Another thing that is communicated is that communication happens through Rhys. When we are out and about people first talk to him, then sometimes me. I’ve never felt more like it’s a man’s world than when communication happens here. When orders are taken it’s through Rhys, when questions are asked and answered it’s through Rhys. His communication with locals is so much better than mine simply because he is talked to more than me. I’m sure there are a number of reasons why this is true, but at the same time it’s a new experience for me to take a back seat in communication. Rhys is the man, therefore he’s given privileges and experiences that I only benefit from. Sometimes I forget that we as women live in a male dominated world. I work and provide for our family and yet Rhys is given all the benefits of communication. There are times, like on Beijing road, where I am grateful the communication goes through him. It’s on him to say no, to reject the constant push of counterfeit goods- and other times like tonight where I’m simply included because im with him. The irony of our situation where Rhys is assumed to be the patriarchal leader of our family never escapes us. But then I wonder what privileges and assumptions do I get as a woman here in China? What do I get extended to me simply because I am the matriarch of our family? These are questions I’ll never fully know the answers to, I’ll live the experiences and do my best to understand them as they happen. 

Saturday night brought ktv and fresh seafood with friend Rhys had made at dim sum named Yindy. Yindy had reserved a Ktv private room for karaoke and had ordered an entire spread of snacks and beer. The snacks were some of the most unique bar snacks I’d ever experienced. There was seaweed, fried bean curd, quail eggs, edamame, woodear mushrooms, phoenix feet (chicken feet) and an assortment of fruit. We tried them all except the quail eggs. We spent the evening dancing and singing with our host. As the night went on more people joined us, a young firefighter named Hugo who spoke some English and was eager to communicate and learn more. We quickly became WeChat friends so we could keep in touch in the future. Hugo said in Chinese that he would call Rhys “his older brother” and me “his older brother’s wife.” I laughted to myself thinking about the interactions we’ve had where Rhys is talked to directly, and now I’d be known as “his wife” by this small group of very friendly, kind people. 

As we finished up at KTV we decided to get some fresh seafood. Which at 11pm, to my surprise, was still available. We all got into the car with Yindy to drive to get food. We quickly realized Yindy intended to drive to Zhuhai, a city about an hour and a half away near Macau. Rhys and I hadn’t realized that was her intention and Rhys, through translators, had to tell her we wanted to go somewhere much closer. We went back and forth and finally settled on a restaurant closer to home. During this time my stomach was starting to feel more and more upset. The combination of beer and Chinese bar snacks had not sat well with me.  

We got to the restaurant and Yindy showed me the live seafood we would soon be eating. It was prawns, live in the aquarium waiting to be put on someone’s plate, head and all. When they arrived, sure as night, they had heads and legs attached. Yindy kindly peeled the tails for us and gave us the meaty tails while she sucked the heads. I’d never had an experience like it before and honestly didn’t know how people ate shrimp heads, I learned that night now it is done. Twist the head off, peel the tail, then put most of the head in your mouth to chew and suck out the insides. I watched as Yindy ate the heads while we enjoyed the tails dipped in garlic jalapeño soy sauce. We learned that Yindy is somewhat of a chef herself, exploring the world of vegetables and the culinary delights they bring. Yindy doesn’t know much English but she does know the word “delicious” and when we would try something new that night she would often smile with delight and say “delicious?!” as we experienced all the new culinary delights that evening. 

The night quickly turned south for me as my stomach got more and more upset. Yindy ordered me a drink that she said would “take out the damp and cool the fire” this is Chinese medicine theory and the drink was sugar cane and bamboo water. It did indeed feel good on my stomach but didn’t stop the eventual vomiting that would happen. In a nightmare come true as I spent the last part of the evening in the public bathrooms throwing up. I wish that upon no one, throwing up in a public bathroom is awful. Luckily I found a pedestal toilet and didn’t have to vomit in a squat pan. Yindy waited for me outside the stall to make sure I was ok and held my hand as we slowly walked back to the table. She showed so much kindness to me in my state, kindness that was all communicated non verbally, but the language of care and kindness transcends language barriers, especially when looking after someone vomiting in a public toilet. Women taking care of women is the best. But still an unfortunate ending to an otherwise fantastic evening.